Bar Shuffleboard

I was surfing the channels on our TV last night and saw, yet again, Olympic Curling. I realize it is a slow and deliberate game so it takes longer to decide who gets the medals. However, how many times can curling be broadcast during primetime? Am I missing something or is this sport a more ancient version of the shuffleboard games we all know and love from taverns in America? If it is it begs the question, will the leaders of the Winter Olympics make Bar Shuffleboard an event in future years? Media-wise, which I know little about, it seems as if it is a natural event to lure more viewers. Think of all those shufflers working out in local taverns competing for beers and the right to continue playing the board. The beer-makers and hops-producers would be natural corporate sponsors. The discs are smaller, no brooms or sweepers, a more interesting setting, and frankly a quicker pace.

I do need to check around and see if I can find work. Too much time.

Food Heritage: Is Ronald McDonald Sustainable?

Food Heritage: Is Ronald McDonald Sustainable?

By J. Glenn Eugster

December 21, 2001

In August, in Washington, DC, the Smithsonian's National Air and Space Museum announced that in spring 2002 that it will open a new restaurant with three well-known restaurant operators.  McDonald's, Boston Market and Donatos will be joined together in a single facility designed especially for the National Air and Space Museum--a facility that attracts more than 9 million visitors a year.

McDonald's, which recently bought Boston Market and Donatos Pizzeria, will operate the restaurant through a 10-year lease agreement overseen by Smithsonian Business Ventures, which manages all the Institution's revenue-producing activities.

In September, in Chicago, Il, the Centers for Disease Control and 

Prevention released a research report indicating that nearly 40 million American adults are obese.  In addition, the research revealed that more than half of Americans--56.4 percent are overweight.  The report notes that obesity is on the increase and is linked to diabetes.

The Centers research attributes the decade-long increase in obesity to a modern lifestyle that relies on long commutes, fast food and sedentary entertainments such as television.  It also notes the public health implications, in terms of disease and health-care costs, and urges a variety of ways for Americans to improve their diet and exercise.  Specifically, the research encourages communities to provide safe, well lit areas for physical activity, and fast-food restaurants to offer alternatives to fatty, high calorie foods.

As the National Park Service continues its efforts to increase revenue generation, encourage sustainable "best management practices" and help to meet recreation needs, the agency would do itself and the public well to look closely at the decision Smithsonian's recent decision and the health of Americans.

Smithsonian's decision to use a federally supported facility to partner with McDonald's could have easily been an NPS decision.  Increasingly NPS is partnering with corporate America as a way to help provide important services to the public while generating revenue.  It doesn't take much to imagine McDonald's as a "Proud Partner" of NPS and the National Park Foundation and Big Mac's 

and fries being sold to our visitors through some sort of concession operation.

The obesity research findings are too serious health and budget-wise for any federal agency to ignore, whether it be for its employees or visitors. It is certain that health-care costs will increase to respond to people's reluctance to maintain a sensible diet and get plenty of exercise.  These costs (e.g.diabetes alone accounts for $100 billion in health-care spending each year) will reduce the amount of federal funds available for other purposes, such as

National Parks and NPS programs.

Perhaps one nexus between Smithsonian's plans and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention is the National Park Service's Sustainable Practices & Opportunities Plan (SPOP).  The Plan identifies ways to improve the health of the National Park's fiscal condition by strneghtening its environmental balance sheet.  These plans explore ways that parks can incorporate sustainable

practices into their daily activities.

Although the Sustainable Practices effort encourages  a variety of "green practices" to rethink the way we go about business it does not appear to address the quality of food provided by concessionaires and its link to human health.  It seems that federal facilities, such as National Parks, are important places where we can demonstrate ways to change old habits that may not be in 

people's best interests.

Two ideas come to mind.  One is to look at the food and drink that we provide at National Parks as one of our Sustainable Practices.  As Sarah Callard and Diane Millis write in their book "Green Living", "If you wish to live a green life you cannot afford to ignore what you eat".  It seems that if you are entrusted 

with managing a federally supported facility that provides services to visitors, these services need to meet a level of quality commensurate with the setting.

NPS could recognize parks where we are making the switch from providing our visitors with fat-laden foods to serving healthier "green food"?  We could document parks that are using this practice to support local agriculture?  We could work to replicate these examples elsewhere and make healthy foods, within

healthy National Parks, the rule rather than the exception. Its time to face the facts, encouraging Americans--young or old, to visit Ronald McDonald is neither wise, economically sound, nor a good use of our position as federal leaders.

A second idea is based on the approach that the U.S. is using to deal with our over-reliance on oil as an energy source.  The Federal Energy Policy Act and Presidential Executive Order # 12844 encourages all federal agencies and fuel providers to increase the use of alternative fuel vehicles in order to reduce our dependency on foreign oil and reduce the costs of air pollution-related 

health care (e.g. $45 billion annually).  The approach has proven to be a good way to increase the public use of electric, methanol, natural gas, and other fuel vehicles.  Its also placed agencies like NPS in a quiet enabling leadership role.

Perhaps we could look at obesity in a similar way.  Each federal agency could be asked to help the Nation deal with our health problem by making commitments to implement the diet and exercise recommendations from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.  National Parks are ideal places to demonstrate the

value in healthy food and exercise and what it means to be a healthy consumer, employer and concessionaire.

Although I must admit periodic cravings for double cheeseburgers, shakes and fries, I have learned to live with "Bocca Burgers", fruit smoothies and fresh vegetables.  If we are truly serious about sustainable practices we need to go beyond green buildings, porous pavement, native plants, and other facility-based practices. Americans have had a long and quite wonderful tradition of 

food in the U.S.  However, if we are to truly "meet the needs of the present without impairing the ability of future generations to meet their own needs" then we need to look at the food we serve to our visitors and the important roll that our lands play

Dramatic Dying

Dramatic Dying
January 6, 2017
J. Glenn Eugster
Fontana Free Press

The television show of long-ago, "Have Gun Will Travel", taught me how, if you were shot, you could die with a dramatic flair. Kids of my day were given toy guns taught to shoot at the earliest age and I loved the idea. More importantly however I enjoyed getting shot and falling to the ground, uttering memorable farewell statements with facial and body movements, before appearing to die.

When I was very young my mother would leave my sister and I alone in our East Hills, NY apartment while she bought groceries while we sat on the couch and watched television. I loved my sister but her arrival caught me by surprise and no one told me why she suddenly appeared in our lives. Initally she didn't seem to do much beyond sleeping, bodily functions and watching television with me. On ocassion I tried to play with her and one day I introduced her to dying dramatically.

Without warning I doubled over, twisted my body on the couch next to her mumbling garbled goodbyes, before falling to the floor. She was surprised at first and encouraged me to get up. My face was flush with the carpet and my eyes were closed as I lay motionless below her. Soon her pleas for me to get up turned to the question, Are you dead? What could I say? In my mind I was.

As the minutes passed my sister began pleading with me sobbing, please don't be dead, please don't die. She ran to the kitchen, got a glass of water and splashed it on my face. Over and over she repeated her plea not knowing that her brother had watched far, far too much television and took pleasure in torturing the young child he was Ill-equipped to care for

My game became boring and my sister was borderline frantic so miraculously I came back to life and told her that I had been knocked unconscious. She seemed glad to see me and began breathing again shortly after my mother returned home. Lord knows what she told mom but being in charge is tough and I think I did a good job. My sister eventually got over the trauma and seemed to grow up quicker after that day. Good things often do hurt.

A Big Surprise in the Stone Soup Kitchen

A Big Surprise in the Stone Soup Kitchen
J. Glenn Eugster, Fontana Free Press
October 22, 2001

Leonardtown, MD.  The 35th Annual St. Mary's County Oyster Festival
Saturday was
the setting for the what was billed as the battle of the "Cooking Pisanos".
Charles "Petro" Petrocci of Chincoteague Island, VA. was scheduled to meet
Alex
"The Dish" DeSantis of Bethlehem, PA. in the main bout of the National
Oyster
Cook-Off.  Although De Stantis and Petrocci received top-billing and
months of
newsprint from far and wide, it was Dawn "Downtown" Brown of Baltimore,
MD. that
stole the show in the "Stone Soup Kitchen".  Brown won the hearts and
stomachs
of the standing room only crowd with her "Grilled Oysters Athena" and left
the
audience wondering, who are those two other guys?

The Cook-Off, the centerpiece of the Oyster Festival for the last 22
years, pits
the top 12 oyster chef's in the United States against each other in four
categories of competitive oyster cooking. This year's contestants came from
Oregon, Illinois, New Jersey, Connecticut, Mississippi, Vermont, North
Carolina,
Louisiana, and the Chesapeake Bay region.

Three contestants are picked by a panel of experts for each of four oyster
cooking categories--Main Dish; Soups & Stews; Hors D'oeuvres; and Outdoor
Cookery & Salads.  Each of the contestants has one hour and fifteen
minutes to
cook.  Contestants present their food to five unforgiving judges and then
present their dishes to the hungry and oyster-crazed audience.

Workers, in white rubber gloves, ladle small amount of oyster dishes into
little
white cups and hand it to the audience which lines-up in single file the
length
of the auditorium. The procession, which some call "the religion of
oysters"
seems hauntingly similar to communion at a Roman Catholic Church. In
Southern
MD, the Land of Religious Freedom, this procession to receive oysters
seems only
natural.

Petrocci's return to competition after an extended absence drew a large
number
of spectators to the County Fairground Auditorium.  Petros return, plus his
being placed in the main event versus DeSantis made this cook-off one of
the
most anticipated and talked about cooking competitions in St. Mary's County
history.  Spectators started filling the concrete block auditorium early
in the
morning to take their place to witness this part of Southern MD. History.

The Cook-Off was also covered by the Food Network which is scheduled to
produce
a television show on Oyster Festivals later this year.  Camera-people,
reporters
and extras swarmed the stage, photographed minor cooking details and talked
constantly with the contestants as they prepared their dishes.

The audience sat patiently through the Main Dish, Soups & Stews and Hors
D'oeuvers competition waiting for the arrival of Petro and The Dish.
Members of
the audience talked of the time when Petro forgot that the each of the
Outdoor
cooks are provided with impregnated coals.  People recalled that  Charlie
soaked
his charcoal briquettes with lighter fluid, lit a match to the grill and
set the
side of the auditorium on fire.  Even now there is debate among the cooking
aficionados as to whether Petros fire was accidental or planned to give
him a
competitive advantage.

As if the excitement of the cook-off wasn't enough, during the event the
Grand
Master of the Cook-Off introduced the "King Oyster" to the crowd.  As the
King
made way to the podium to make a few welcoming remarks to the crowd the
Grand
Master called for the audience to acknowledge this icon of oysterland.
Unfortunately the King was really a Queen--a fact that wasn't acknowledged
until
the King was seen leaving the building with the Grand Marshall in a
headlock.

Unfortunately Petro and The Dish could have used a diversion this year.
Downtown Brown, a relative unknown chef from the heavily polluted Port
City of
Baltimore, captured the gold medal for Outdoor Cookery and Salads.  With
style,
grace and a splendid selection, Ms. Brown made DeSantis and Petrocci, who
finished second and third respectively, look like two older guys who can
look
but can't cook.  Brown's "Grilled Oysters Athena" clearly outdistanced
Petro's
"Flambeed Oysters, Squid & Mushrooms" and The Dish's Touch of-Thai Grilled
Oysters with Mango Salsa".  Ms. Brown did Charm City proud as she pulled
down a
unanimous score from the judges and an overwhelming majority of votes from
the
audience.

The crowd was stunned by Brown's performance.  Their shock was short-lived
however, for as soon as they sampled her dish they realized that there is
a new
oyster chef in Leonardtown.  It didn't take the audience long to get over
the
disappointment that the DeSantis and Petrocci contest just never
materialized.
Many of the audience believe that Petro and The Dish were thinking too much
about the next level of oyster cooking competition.  Winners from the St.
Mary's
Festival take home $1,000 in cash, an oyster bowl, bragging rights for a
year
and get to go to Ireland to compete against international shuckers and
chefs at
the Global Oyster Festival.

DeSantis took the competition and his second place finish in stride.  The
Dish
said, "I've been here quite a few times.  I usually finish second.  You
never
know what the judges will like, one year it's this, one year it's that".
Petrocci, surprisingly obtuse this year, seemed disconnected about the
event.
He said, "I'm not organized this year.  I don't have a costume.  I have to
get
in touch with my coals.  There's too much going on right now--I can't
focus".

Petrocci's return to Southern Maryland was much anticipated and heralded.
Petro
has single-handedily carried the oyster-cooking-honor of the Eastern Shore
into
this competion many years and has done the Delmarvians proud. Although
Charlie
has proven to have Jordanesque powers, making these types of comebacks
over, and
over again, each time he creates an expectation that is Neptunean. Perhaps
Petros third-place finish can be chalked up to the stress that has
permeated all
of our lives since September 11.  Then again maybe Petro's longtime Oyster
Festival companion, Chef Marie, said it best, "Charlie's only human, you
know--and we do have a good time coming to Leonardtown".

Up a Tree

Up a Tree

September 2, 2011

J. Glenn Eugster

When I was a younger man living in Atlanta, married and with a daughter, I lost my job one year because I held out for a bigger raise.  My spouse wanted me to get more money and after being offered a nice raise she urged me to go in and ask for more--and tell my boss that unless I got more I would leave.   He said fine and I left unemployed.  So how was it for you dear?

Looking for work I offered my landscaping services to people through a newspaper ad.  I got a call about cutting down a damaged tree and arranged to do the worked in a suburb of Atlanta.  I arrived to find a pine tree leaning over a split level home.  It was a job I hadn't performed before but we needed the money so I agreed to take it down even though I didn't have the skill or the insurance to cover the work.

I looked it over, and over, and over, pondering my next move.  Then I remembered that my Uncle Joe knew how to cut trees.  I called him on the phone and told him of the situation.  He verbally walked me through what I needed to do to bring the tree down.  I tied the tree top, roped it around another tree, and pulled it back far enough so that when I cut it the tree would fall missing the house.  

Uncle Joe was clear on what I had to do and with my heart pounding I did what he told me.  I cut a little, pulled hard, and then cut some more.  I must have spent an hour pulling and cutting, pulling and cutting, being careful not to cut too much into the tree trunk so as to drop the tree on the house. 

I kept at it until it was about two or three feet from where it needed to fall.  With my hands now blistered and raw from cutting and pulling I cut the trunk far enough to be able to pull it hard enough to bring it down.  It missed the roof with about 18" to spare.  I was joyous and called Uncle Joe to tell him of the success I experienced.  Once I calmed down I cut-up the rest of the tree, got my check and headed home.

These days I negotiate my own salary and pay others to cut trees down.  Uncle Joe is in another place and I need to be careful what I say yes to.

Mattituck High School, NY. Suffolk County Soccer Champions. 1965.

Genetic or Not? Sneeze at the Sun

Genetic or Not?  Sneeze at the Sun

August 2, 2009

J. Glenn Eugster

Fontana Free Press

My wife Deborah and I visited my sister Claudette and my brother-in-law Eli at their summer home in Ocean Isle, NC.  It is always a treat to see these two and their beach-house makes it all the more enjoyable.  Most always my sister and I will get into some slightly off-beat conversation and this year was no different.  One of us sneezed which sparked a discussion about the causes of sneezing.  My sister, using Clifford Clavin-logic, stated with great confidence that “sunlight caused sneezing is a genetic trait”.  

As Eli and my wife quickly decided they had other things to do, I questioned Claudette’s ascertain using my own lopsided-wisdom and fuzzy stories.  As the conversation unfolded and wandered about it was obvious that my sister, who was always a much better student than me, wasn’t buying my opinions.  

When I returned home from our visit I did some research on the topic of our debate.  I learned from my research was that sunshine sneezing is referred to as  “Photic Sneeze Reflex“.   It appeared from the research that there is no consensus medical opinion about whether we get this trait from our parents.  Research reveals that sunshine-sneezing occurs in one out of every three people.   I sent my findings to Claudette with encouragement that perhaps her fact-finding would reveal information that will someday support her contention that either, or both, our parents-- Joe and Jay, gave this happy face quality to us. 

I noted that one of the researchers looking into the link to genetics is looking for people to test.  I also noted that I'm now researching another family theory that if you pick dandelion flowers you will have to pee.  This my get complicated if it turns out that research reveals that picking “wee-wee flowers” in the sunlight causes this trait?  Go figure, I thought we were normal.